What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

TEXT:

I dreamt my mother had died and I cried so much in my dream. What does it mean?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Has anyone experienced an out of the body experience, as a child, years before you had ever heard the term or understood the implications?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What’s the craziest thing you’ve heard pretending to be asleep?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.